A True Support Group
Article from the Bangor METRO printed in the May 2010 issue. Article written by Craig Idlebrook.
My Friend's Place volunteer Bobbie Fowler discusses a vocabulary project with Shellie Morcom.
Photo By: Leslie Bowman
Published: May 26, 2010
Alzheimer's and dementia are debilitating conditions that affect the whole family. Luckily, the afflicted and their loved ones don't have to go it alone.
For years, Shellie Morcom, 58, worked as a women’s health nurse practitioner at the Cutler Medical Center on the campus of the University of Maine in Orono. Her husband, Mike Morcom, says she was an outgoing and respected member of the medical community. That was before she developed early-onset Alzheimer’s disease.
“It almost crushes me to think about it,” Mike Morcom says.
As his wife became confused, she began to withdraw, and many of her former connections began to fall away. “Friends just don’t know how to act around her, so they just don’t come around,” Morcom says.
At first, Morcom could find little help for her in the community. While there were support groups for caregivers of those suffering with Alzheimer’s, he couldn’t find a support group for people wrestling with the disease. Then he heard about a new program called Memory Joggers at My Friend’s Place, a nonprofit adult social program at the First United Methodist Church in Bangor. Memory Joggers is designed to help those in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and memory loss remain social and active.
While at the program, Shellie Morcom interacts with others in the same mental boat. She also engages in mental and physical cross-training to help her stay focused. Mike says the program has been a lifeline for both of them. He knows she’s in good hands and it’s slowed the spiral of withdrawal.
“It’s just a way for me to know she’s well taken care of. She’s respected,” Morcom says.
Since 2001, My Friend’s Place has held adult day services for people suffering from memory loss and dementia, or who are socially isolated. In 2009, Barbara Fister, director of My Friend’s Place, launched Memory Joggers. Each Monday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., people who are just beginning to be affected with these conditions gather to play games, exercise, and discuss health topics of relevance. While the adult day services and Memory Jogger programs are similar, everything is done with more depth at Memory Joggers, Fister says.
“You can see in early memory loss, they still feel they have a lot more living to go and they still want to learn,” Fister says.
It’s the only program in Maine targeted for those in the early stages of Alzheimer’s or dementia, and it has proven so popular that Fister has had to split the group in two to accommodate the numbers.
There are two models for adult day services, says Deborah Poulton, director of family caregiver services at Bangor’s Eastern Area Agency on Aging. Social models, like My Friend’s Place, are designed to help those who do not need hygiene care while attending. Social model-based programs are popular in more urban areas, where other services are more readily available. Medical-model day programs, which can offer showers and other personal care maintenance, are more popular in rural areas, where services are fewer and distances greater.
“Adult day care is not a brand-new concept,” says Poulton. “However, it’s becoming a much more integral part of our long-term care system out of monetary necessity.” As the American population grays, there’s a growing understanding that it’s much cheaper and more effective to keep people living at home, rather than in a nursing home, for as long as possible, she says.
Friendship Cottage, a medical-model adult day program for those with physical, mental, or memory challenges in Blue Hill, offers an adult day service program five days a week. As the name implies, it feels more like a vacation retreat than an adult day program. The main room is open and airy, with abundant windows. Plush recliners invite participants to lounge and try their hands at a jigsaw puzzle. Others play Bingo and socialize sitting at a carved wooden table in the center of the room. Even menus and regulations are pretty and displayed in frames.
“I just love this place. They do such wonderful things here,” says John “Dan” Morris Danielson, a participant.
The smile on his face fades when he can’t remember how many days a week he comes to the program. Friendship Cottage executive director Anne Ossana puts a hand on his shoulder and shows him three fingers.
“Are you sure?” Danielson asks. Ossana’s smile never wavers, nor does it look forced. The smile returns to Danielson’s face. “Well, if you say so,” he chuckles.
There is still no cure for Alzheimer’s and dementia, so Ossana knows her job is more about support than rehabilitation. She says her program strives to provide dignity for participants. “Our goal is just to meet people where they are,” she says.
Tucked away are rooms for helping participants with personal care, like showering and going to the bathroom. These services can make the difference between living at home and institutionalization for some participants, says Ossana.
The second floor of the facility houses another mission of Friendship Cottage. There’s a comfortable room filled with couches and chairs for caregivers, where they can come to network with each other, look for resources, or just decompress. Nearby, there’s an office dedicated to coordinating caregiver assistance.
“Eighty percent of long-term care for Alzheimer’s patients is done in the home,” says Sonia Turanski, community caregiver advocate at Friendship Cottage.
Marshall Smith, a retired doctor in Blue Hill, can attest to that. Before Friendship Cottage opened, Smith tried to take care of his wife, Marjorie, while juggling other commitments. He even took her with him to board meetings, but she grew bored and distracted. Smith was beginning to wonder if he would have to retire from public life when he heard about Friendship Cottage. Marjorie became the cottage’s first client, even before it officially opened its doors. When his wife is at the cottage, Smith says he has the time and space to take care of himself. “It has saved my life,” he says.
Through a grant from the Maryland-based Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Foundation, Turanski is working to help caregivers find the services they need in Hancock County. The grant is part of the foundation’s family and informal caregiver support program, and will help to identify caregiver services in Hancock County and then try and replicate those services in neighboring Washington County.
Turanski hopes to create a self-sustaining network for the caregivers of those with memory loss or Alzheimer’s. As the U.S. population ages, she says, there’s a growing understanding that a web of care is needed.
“You’ve heard the saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child,’” she says. “Actually, it takes a village for a whole lifespan.”
